Gossip, Backbiting, Slander.....

The oxford dictionary describes gossip as a casual or unconstrained conversation or report about other people typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. Backbiting is described as a malicious talk about someone who is not present, and Slander is the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person’s reputation.

I am sure many of us in time past or presently have been involved in one way or the other in gossip, backbiting or slander, they all point to the same thing which is talking about others in a negative way behind their backs, which most times is not confirmed as true. I am guilty of this sin, writing about it doesn’t mean I am innocent, but I know God hates it and he is dealing with me in this aspect, so I’m learning but not there yet.

What does the bible say about gossip? Here are some verses in the bible about gossip, back biting and slander

James 3; 5-6 ‘And so the tongue is a small part of the body yet it carries great power! Just think of how a small flame can set a huge forest ablaze. And the tongue is a fire! It can be compared to the sum total of wickedness and is the most dangerous part of our human body. It corrupts the entire body and is a hellish flame! It releases a fire that can burn throughout the course of human existence. TPT

 Proverbs 6:17 ‘Putting others down while considering yourself superior, spreading lies and rumours,
spilling the blood of the innocent.’ TPT

Proverbs 18: 8  ‘The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.’ KJV

Proverbs 21:23 ‘Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief.’ MSG

Proverbs 26:28 ‘A lying tongue hates those it wounds and crushes, And a flattering mouth works ruin.’ AMP

Proverbs 26: 20 ‘For lack of wood the fire goes out, And where there is no whisperer [who gossips], contention quiets down.’ AMP

Romans 1:28- 32 ‘And because they thought it was worthless to embrace the true knowledge of God, God gave them over to a worthless mind-set, to break all rules of proper conduct. Their sinful lives became full of every kind of evil, wicked schemes, greed, and cruelty. Their hearts overflowed with jealous cravings, and with conflict and strife, which drove them into hateful arguments and murder. They are deceitful liars full of hostility. They are gossips who love to spread malicious slander. With inflated egos they hurl hateful insults at God, yet they are nothing more than arrogant boasters. They are rebels against their parents and totally immoral. They are senseless, faithless, ruthless, heartless, and completely merciless. Although they are fully aware of God’s laws and proper order and knowing that those who do all of these things deserve to die, yet they still go headlong into darkness, encouraging others to do the same and applauding them when they do!’

It is interesting to note in the last verses that Paul grouped gossip with wicked schemes such as murder, he said that all those who do this such as gossip and slander deserve to die, so when we gossip about people we are committing murder. When we gossip about others we become like satan who is the accuser of the brethren, he is the one that goes to God to accuse us of our sins, this is what we do instead of praying for our brother or sister, we accuse them and slander them without looking for a solution to the problem.

Some gossip hides behind a pretentious expression of concern, when in reality they are not concerned about solving the problem but in talking about it and making it worse. If discussing someone’s problem cannot bring a solution to that problem then it is gossip, backbiting, and slander for example if someone says “Oh! have you seen how Ada has been dressing lately? It is so shameful! just like a prostitute will dress. And she calls herself a Christian? Shame on her. This is Gossip, on the other hand if she says “Oh! Ada has been poorly dressed lately, just like a prostitute will dress, we need to have a word with her perhaps she is going through something, or please let’s pray for her.  This is not Gossip. If you really want to solve a problem, you will not gossip about it, you may discuss it, there is a difference.

The truth is anyone who gossips to you will gossip to others about you. And anytime we condemn others we are only condemning ourselves Romans 2;1 we mustn’t judge others because they sin differently than we do, and we cannot say we are walking in the Holy Spirit and do harm to others at the same time, if we genuinely love one another we will not devour one another Gal 5;14-16

How to avoid Gossip

First of all we need to ask God for help, by confessing our sins and asking God for forgiveness. Ask him to help you bridle your tongue and keep it from gossip.

When someone starts gossiping about someone say something good about the person, there is always something good about everyone, if you cannot think of anything good then change the subject or don’t say anything at all.

Always remember this quote ‘great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people.  Great minds discuss ideas for example 'how we can help others?', or 'how we can uplift people'?.

Stay away from gossipers because they will certainly gossip about you too. He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; Therefore, do not associate with one who flatters with his lips. Prov 20:19

If the gossip is persistent, or everytime you are with someone he/she only gossips about people then just politely remove yourself from the gossiping by either walking away or excusing yourself to leave.

Always focus on the solution to the problem, people gossip because they have lost focus our focus always should be on solving the problem, and not stirring up the problem.

As we round up this year and enter a new year, make this a new year’s goal. I am certainly making it mine. Instead of killing others with our tongue, let our tongues build, bless, heal and encourage others in love. Have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!!!